Today I lied again. I have lied everyday of my life since a young age. I personally think we all lie when asked this question, “Are you okay?” It's such a trivial question, because people don’t actually care about your life problems. It is a common courtesy to ask how people are doing. Some will be honest and say “Yeah, just tired. Or “I’m a little stressed but okay.” Which isn’t always the case anyway. Even when people are slightly concerned and ask the question that shall not be typed, they are not interested, they zone out, because who wants to listen to your depressed stories. I have gone on my rant but have not told how I lie everyday. I lie to myself when i wake up and look in the mirror that you are beautiful like every other girl, and size doesn’t matter, just be yourself. When asked in the morning “How are you?” I say “I’m good! How about you?” When actually I am tired and always force a smile, unless I have something to be happy about (not very often). I rush the conversation along so the other person talks more so I don’t have to actually be engaged. I lie to my friends and peers that i am a listener and a supportive friend, when I usually don’t pay attention to half the things they say. I lie to my teachers that I did this work with all my effort, when me and almost everyone in the class looked online. I always act in denial when I fight with a friend that I don’t have a split personality and that in not violent. It shows but I won't dare acknowledge in front of others that I have trouble regulating my moods. When in front of a crowd of people I act happy, cheerful, funny, and silly, trying to please the others around me. Then I crash, the feelings, unbearable come rushing in flooding my act, not allowing me to be as I was five minutes ago. When I laugh to hard I cry, all the emotions I suppressed from my lies. I lie to people that I am Okay, because I hate answering the question “Are you okay?”
-Aiyana Poe
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AuthorI love writing poetry. This is a collection of all the poetry I have written from a young age until now. (You will see a date of year next to my name). |